Parent C
hronicles
RESOURCES, TOOLS, AND COMMUNITY FOR PARENTS OF THIRD CULTURE KIDS
(So you can be confident you're not screwing them up!)
Oof—that moment when someone asks your TCK, “Where are you from?” And you listen expectantly, wondering if they’re going to include their entire “from” story, or just the part that is understandable by a well-meaning monocultural individual in your passport country. But what can be even harder is hearing this kind person follow up with the question, “I mean, where is home to you?” Maybe this feels 10 times worse because not only does it raise all kinds of logistical questions—you’re in the process of moving back overseas, you’re going to live somewhere brand new, or you’re basically living in your car right now!!—it also raises all kinds of emotions, because we have an instinctual association with how the word home is supposed to make us feel.
Home. Maya Angelou defines the word as “a safe place where one can go and not be questioned.” Country songs claim that home can only be found where mama’s cookin’ baked beans and your childhood bedroom is still perfectly preserved circa 1990, in true mausoleum style. Love ballads and poets take a more romantic approach, saying “home is wherever I’m with you.” But eventually poetry gets muddy and country songs sound like a down-south fantasy, and some of us just want to know: what is home? Honestly, it’s a topic perpetually up for debate; especially for a third culture kid.
So how can you define home in a way that is meaningful to your individual TCKs? Enter the word “homeful”—(adj.) this can describe people, places, things, and spaces as those that make us feel special, safe, and that we can go to for help. The word “homeful” helps us go from feeling like we have to pick one building or city to be “home” and start thinking of it as more of a feeling and a sense that can follow us everywhere we go—even to brand new places.
If you want to learn more about the origin of this word, Kaleider Abby Schmidt first used it in a blog post for Kaleidoscope all the way back in 2017. Read her honest and vulnerable reflections about what home means to her here.
Listen
Josh Garrels’ track, “Home at Last” is our new favorite tune with a message about where home really is. It also provides a great conversation starter: what does your family’s faith have to say about feeling Homeful? 🍂✨ Check out this song and the rest of our Homeful At Last playlist on Spotify!