Training puppies and working with third culture kids aren’t that different! These are the top three tips for training puppies according to celebrity dog trainer @allthingspup on Instagram and how to up your game when working with TCKs.
Always use their name positively. When you’re working with a puppy, if you use their name harshly or to discipline too many times, then they’ll start to associate their name with that negativity and it will be harder to get them to come when you call them. Similarly with a TCK, if you are always using their name harshly or negatively, they might start to respond more slowly or less consistently. If they know that when you say their name, you have something exciting or interesting to share with them or you’re going to affirm them, they become more likely to automatically pay attention to you than if you’re always telling them not to do something or they think they’re in trouble every time you say their name. This will help you maintain authority and achieve mutual respect.
Don’t underestimate the power of positive reinforcement. Instead of trying to figure out what negative reinforcement is effective or appropriate or okay, just lean into positive reinforcement. Not only is it fun for everyone, but it’s also shown to be very effective. You want your positive reinforcement to be based on clear expectations and exciting and motivating rewards. You also want to do it early and often and make it strategic.
Always redirect to the desired behavior. When puppies are doing things like jumping on a guest or barking at the door or chewing on a shoe, they literally cannot imagine or focus on doing anything other than that. Kids usually have a pretty good idea that what they are doing is wrong. But even then, the behavior isn’t necessarily motivated by the need to do the wrong thing, some times they might have an underlying motivation like they need to get energy out or they’re looking for attention or they are just wanting to have a great time. So when you can redirect their behavior to something that is okay for them to be doing, then you help get at that underlying desire and it takes the guesswork out of it for them and it helps them know how to be behaving. For a puppy, it might be switching out the shoe for a chew toy, and for TCKs, it might be playing an exciting game of capture the flag instead of climbing trees and jumping out of them.
Treat your TCKs like puppies and you’ll help them stay engaged, build meaningful relationships, and create a safe space for everyone.
Just like training a new puppy, working with TCKs can be overwhelming without a guide or handbook. Check out the free TCK Toolkit to access TCK worksheets, webinars, and curriculum to make working with TCKs even easier.
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