How to Say Goodbye: Let’s talk about S.H.I.P.!
We use this acronym at all of our events, both virtual and in-person, to teach our TCKs how to say goodbyes well. Whether the transition is an expected one, like attending a new school in the fall, or unexpected, like moving your family for safety in a time of global unrest, this acronym can be used as a tool in any situation.
Pro tip: we have a free downloadable worksheet to go along with this! You can find that by following this link and creating your free TCK Toolkit account.
S: Say Sorry
This step centers around reconciling relationships before you leave. If you need to deal with an unresolved conflict and make amends, do that now. You may not always need to literally say sorry for something. This step could look different for everyone. Maybe you felt off with a friend recently and just want to make sure you two are good. No matter what your say sorry looks like, the point is this: don’t leave loose ends and don’t leave conflicts unresolved.
H: Hugs and High Fives (a.k.a. our favorite step at Kaleidoscope!)
This step is meant to be a time of affirmations and thank yous. You do not want to leave without telling someone how much they mean to you. Because everyone feels differently about physical touch, we like to give hugs with our words. At each of our events, we like to do an affirmation circle where we take turns encouraging each other and acknowledging the things we love about each of the TCKs and leaders that we’ve gotten to spend time with. You can also practice this step in other ways, like writing a goodbye letter or actually giving hugs if that’s your jam.
I: I’ll See You Later
This step is vital. How often do we forgo actually saying goodbye to someone because we’re afraid it will hurt too much or we don’t think it’s that important? There is something so significant about verbally saying goodbye to someone, hugging them, and letting them know their relationship has been and will continue to be meaningful to you. That’s what this step is all about.
P: Pack and Plan
After you’ve reconciled, given hugs and high fives, and verbally said goodbye, then you can start thinking about what’s coming next. You can think about what to bring, make plans for the exciting things you do, and/or pray for protection and support for your family during this transition.
That’s it! We hope you find this tool as helpful as we have.
Download the FREE SHIP Worksheet!
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*Note: this acronym was adapted from RAFT in Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds